Rumi-ing

Whoever Brought Me Here Will Have To Take Me Home
by Jelaluddin Rumi

All day I think about it, then at night I say it. Where did I come from, and what am I supposed to be doing? I have no idea.My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.
This drunkenness began in some other tavern. When I get back around to that place, I'll be completely sober. Meanwhile, I'm like a bird from another continent, sitting in this aviary. The day is coming when I fly off,but who is it now in my ear who hears my voice? Who says words with my mouth?
Who looks out with my eyes? What is the soul? I cannot stop asking. If I could taste one sip of an answer, I could break out of this prison for drunks. I didn't come here of my own accord, and I can't leave that way. Whoever brought me here, will have to take me home.

"...out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there's a field. I'll meet you there". - Rumi

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Questions, questions and more questions. No answers yet but I guess all in good time. I am just but going with the flow and trying to enjoy it as much as I can. I prayed for newness and God gave it to me. Didn't realize it was this soon but I'm not complaining. Love is a gift. What to do when you are given that? Do you refuse it or accept it? It's not something you get to have everyday...and it's not something you have forever either (if you're not that lucky I guess). Maybe I am prolonging the so-called agony for my selfish reasons just so I am not caught off-guard, unaware. Or maybe I am giving myself time to think things over. But the bottomline is, I've told myself that it is not my focus right now --- after a frustrating relationship, it definitely is not something I would look for again. But the world surprised me and I am left bereft and numb.

Oh the horridness that comes with it.