A Blast from the Past and A Peek into the Future

So I went to my girlfriend's office, had lunch and talked about silly stuff over tamarind soup and chicken teriyaki (and don't forget the carbo load --- ugh!!!). A guy (who used to be special) from not so long ago joined us and the conversation was of course limited to what can be informed to him and the rest of the nitty gritty was confined within the walls of the loo. I swear I love my girlfriends.

He still looked the same, although the hair was definitely shorter and the looks of the other people in the office seemed to convey that they knew what went on and they were waiting of what could happen next. I thought he looked thinner as well, or maybe he was just used to wearing tight fit shirts that shouted like his social calendar is filled with regular visits to the gym.

He said hi and the next few minutes were all about throwing a knowing smile and a stolen glance and I couldn't understand how come he cannot utter any other word aside from the usual greeting. He looked like he wanted to tell me something and I was eager to hear it (in person) straight from the horse's mouth. But I guess he couldn't muster enough strength that the whole time I was beside him he just doodled and explained to me how we can do some voice traffic for their company. Oh and I saw some scribbles of my name too. I felt like I was with a high school junior...trying to invite a girl out but couldn't just get through the motion. I allowed myself to remember the things that happened almost a year ago and I couldn't help but feel that another shot at this would mean another chance to be silly and stupid all over again. He's nice and all but somehow...it's not the same anymore.

Cut to present tense, I go to work and see someone giving me my breakfast and we eat the table and share the moment and talk about the previous night. I see someone squashing me so tight and planting kisses on me and professing the magnitude of his love for me. I smile and remain quiet and enjoy all that happens before my very eyes. A few heartaches ago I was longing to be with someone who can take care of me and accept me for who I am. I bring myself back to the now and see my power breakfast staring back at me. I look up to him and flash him a smile of surrender. Somehow, my heartaches had that power to bring me to where I am right now. And his love gave me a new life...like a second (or third or fourth, we never get tired don't we?) lease in what I thought was a finished chapter. He is the true difference between men who love you with their leery looks and those who claim they do with their false prophecies.

I sit back and wonder why. Then I remember that there is a God.