Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Randomness

So I'm obviously a sucker for anything that's random. Combine that with a penchant for answering surveys to kill some time then you get to have this:

22 (just because ) Random Things About Me:

1. I'm not a morning person.
2. It is almost impossible for me to wake up to the alarm
3. Or to 21 wake up calls
4. I write when I'm happy
5. I write more when I'm way in my element
6. I have developed this habit of sleeping with everything turned on - lights and TV
7. Number 6 was due to a very unforgettable experience in Singapore that happened March 2007
8. I say a prayer on the exact time I was born, every year
9. I was asleep when Gabe was born
10. No, not due to ceasarian birth. Hail to epidural!
11. I still have unsent letters to certain people
12. They will remain unsent
13. I actually like one subject I have in MBA for this term. Seriously
14. I am at the beck and call of my son
15. At one point in my life, I relied to the outside world to cope with all the drama surrounding me
16. I wish I still relied to the outside world to cope with all the drama surrounding me
17. I have learned to accept that not all questions have answers. At least not right now
18. I get postcards from strangers
19. I confess to the universe in writing
20. At least the happy confessions
21. I cry easily. I am a weeper!
22. I want to get lost in Europe. And find my way again

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Where is my tropical warmth?

God I feel so cold these days.

I don't think I can easily adjust to the chilly climate plaguing the city in the last couple of weeks or so. However, I do like wearing clothes that justify such weather but considering that our dear Philippines is a tropical country, psychologically it just doesn't do the trick. Can you imagine wearing trench coat and knee high boots in Quezon City? I do see some --- and those people don't fail to certainly amuse me to a ridiculous extent!

And I am just talking about the daytime weather. It gets worse at night and lately it has become a struggle for me to sleep at a more decent time (more of this in another post...hopefully soon).

Ahhhhhhh....I need some sun, some holiday and most of all, some warmth!!!

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

New Year, New Look!

Just a short post as I am still reeling from my monochrome high. Yes, 2009 is all about monochrome! I.love.it. There's an element of sticking to the basics, yet when you look through it all, you kinda see something that's within. And understand what just cannot be told.

I'm no expert in blogging and I had to spend almost 4 hours figuring how to put this XML code I found lurking in the web. The photo is what appeals to me at the moment; and I'd probably change it in the next few days if I come across something that's oozing with more oomph. Lol.

I need to settle this layout first before I start posting more sensible entries. Knowing me, I need to set the mood! Ahhh...the beauty of the colors black and white. I LOVE IT!

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Killing Time

So I find myself lost in the horridness that is Taft Avenue. I know I'm procrastinating a lot of work-related things (I'm needing inspiration, obviously) but can't help reeling from the sad fact that I need to drop out of my class this term. Ugh!!! So many things to do with so little time!

I wanted to visit my cousin nearby but I got scared walking alone in this creepy area. I need randomness and a random survey helps me get that fix.

====================

If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?
Certainly there must be some nagging thought occupying my mind. Or simply put, I'm stressed.

If someone hit you, what would you do?
Carefully think if this is a battle ought to be won. Lol.

Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?
Yes. Sometimes it’s better that way.

Last time you were confused?
Uhm, just today. Can't decide whether to go to class or not. When I finally decided to go to school, my professor SMSed me that he can't accommodate me anymore. If he just let me know that when I was still confused, it would've been truly helpful!

Rent a movie or go to movies?
Either way is fine by me.

What is wonderful?
Conspiring with the universe and feeling that everything is just right.

What are you doing tonight?
Fix my claims and upload it in our system. It takes a while and I can't seem to be up for it!

What did you do yesterday?
Worked and went home, like a good girl.

Ever kissed someone whose name starts with the letter M?
Of course. “M” is a popular letter for names.

Last person you told a secret to?
Work-wise, it's Aris. Personally, it would have to be Weng. I'm fond of keeping secrets to a close and select few.

Status of you and the person you last sent a text to you?
He's my cousin and currently having some issues.

Favorite song at the moment?
I Love You I Do by Jennifer Hudson

Ever made someone cry?
I try not to do that, but it happens.

Things you’re looking forward to in the next 2 weeks?
Definitely a lot! I think I can cross a lot of things in my bucket list.

Who is your favorite band?
Not a huge band lover but I do like Mr. Big.

Shared a bed with someone else?
Uhm, yeah. Gabe.

What's irritating you right now?
The horridness that is Taft.

Do you enjoy tattoos?
I don't have one so I can't really relate to this.

Where was your default picture taken?
Last December 2007, at my grandpa's house during Christmas Eve.

Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
The hell???

Do you like anyone as of now?
Absolutely.

When was the last time you cried?
I get highly emotional when I have a bad case of PMS. So that was just a few weeks back. Although how many days ago I was almost in tears when some shady character stole my phone!

How many keys are on your key chain?
3. For my car and 2 keys for my office drawer from my previous company. Totally forgot to get rid of those!

What do you want to eat?
Right now, nothing. I'm not in the mood.

What are you doing today?
Finding the energy to finish what I really need to finish.

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Little Boy Goes To Heaven

To me, death is inevitable. No matter how much we don't think about it, sooner or later we will have to face the truth that one day we shall bid this world goodbye and move on to the Great Beyond. I guess the question here is the process of transitioning from this steady state we are in to that "death" state --- do we get diagnosed with some incurable illness? Do we die because of old age? Or are we going to figure in an accident? Different routes and all are going to the same destination...and somehow, when you do sit back and ponder on this, you end up thinking that while these are all part of the journey, we do want to say goodbye on a peaceful note. You know --- no unfinished businesses, no regrets, no I-need-to-do-this-before-I-die moments...and that's the reason why we encounter a lot of readings that go something like: 1000 Things You Should Do Before You Die etc etc. So in a way, while we are out here living our lives, we do prepare for our demise one way or another.

But what happens if life ends in an instant? What happens if everything just stopped from where you are and you can't turn back?

My sister told me the story of how life can end in a blink of an eye. Her ex-boyfriend's nephew, a 7 year old boy who shares the same name as my son, and his family went on a vacation to the US just the other week. Immediately after dropping their luggage at the place they're staying, they proceeded for dinner. Somehwere along the way, they figured in a car accident and the poor little boy had to be amputated. The following day, he was declared brain dead and finally early this week, moved on to the Great Beyond.

I think for a mom like myself and who has a 7 year old son, the very thought is just killing me. Super sad...I can just imagine the pain that the whole family is going through. More so, this little boy had to be the one called by our God to join Him in paradise. As they all say, thy will be done.

Such a downer. You can watch the news clip here.

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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Survey Says

I've been a silent fan of doing surveys especially way back in 2001 when work wasn't much of a challenge back then. Haha. Cut to present tense, rarely do I get things like this in my inbox --- so seeing one does brighten my day.

Thanks to Val for tagging me on this.

1. Does anyone know your password?
Hmmm...not really. I have a thing for making super complicated passwords.
2. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds?
6 piece nuggets.
3. Are you an emotional person?

The cancer in me says....yes!!!
4. Do you like your name?
Only if I want to look like a saint. Haha.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Uhm, not anymore.
6. Ever felt jealous of your friend?

Not really. But it's nice living vicariously through your friend's eyes.
7. What was the last thing you did?

Did some work, sent emails to colleagues. Yes, on a Sunday.
8. Who is next to you?

No one.
9. Who was the last person you ate with?

The whole family at Wacat.
10. What song are you listening to right now?

None. But I do here the sounds of the show Loudette is watching.
11. How is the weather right now?

Superrrrrrr hottttt.
12. Last person you called?

My colleague Adrian because I wanted to check if we are a go for tomorrow's karting session.
13. Who are you thinking right now?

More like what am I thinking of right now. A lot of things --- work, holiday, work, holiday...
14. Last song you sang?
100 Years by Five for Fighting. I love this...it's my song these days.
15. Last time you danced?

Damn, can't remember. Have I been that busy???
18. Last thing you ate?

My guilty pleasure --- potato chips.
19. Been really depressed before?

Ridiculously yes.
20. Faked being sick to miss school?

Yes and it still works up to now! Haha.
21. What time did you wake up today?

Technically? 6AM. Then slept again. Officially? 10AM. Hehe.
22. Current taste?

Salty. I love eating my potato chips especially on a weekend.
23. What are you wearing right now?

Black shorts and some lavander top.
24. Are you too shy to ask anyone out?

I must say that getting old does allow us not to make an issue out of this.
25. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Personality and if their confidence hasn't eaten them up to the point of being cocky. Yes, I do like distinguishing that thin line!
27. Current love?

I love the written word. If I had the time in the world, I would write all day in my planner. And here.
28. What date and day is it today?

610pm, Sunday April 6.
29. Did you go anywhere today?

To Wacat in Quezon City. Back in my usual Sunday routine.
30. What did you do there?

Family gathering. Sniffed for some family gossip too. Haha.
34. Do you call your parents by their first name?
Uhm, no.
35. Are you an only child?

Nope. I have 3 other siblings, the last one probably got stuck in his mental age of 6. He's turning 21 by the way.
36. Where do you go shopping?

In the mall, where everything is fast and accessible!
38. Do you like books?

Yes. I don't get to finish all my readings though.
39. Do you want to get married?

Given the chance, yes.
40. To whom?
Can I just let the world surprise me on this? Haha.

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Bikram Yoga

Sunday afternoon musings that is.

It's sooo hot here these days! Summer is definitely here and I gaze in jealousy as I see my neighbors coming back from their beach holiday in Bohol. I want! I want!

Almost a month ago I started doing Bikram Yoga. This, as an attempt to realize what I wanted to do ever since 2008 kicked in (yes, it's the year of turning 30!). I wanted to somehow improve the quality of what I consider to be an unhealthy lifestyle (junk food all week, no vitamins, lack of sleep, fatigue). True enough, Bikram is making me aware of such and I'm just feeling guilty over the past two weeks because my workload prevents me from doing my sessions as much as I can. Initially, I thought I wouldn't like the idea of being in a heated room full of strangers and doing the yoga positions that expose the vulnerable side of you. Think about doing the camel position --- enough said. Fortunately though, I found yoga to be really great --- it's nice to have some quiet time for yourself at the end of a working day, isn't it? The movements do not require you to run (I really don't) yet you sweat so much your shirt would end up looking like it has been soaked in water for a while. That being said, yoga, by far, is the only activity that enables me to be in a would-love-to-destress mode. More like savasnah mode actually, as I never thought you can relax and meditate at the same time...literally thinking about nothing while connecting your body, mind and soul all at once.

But, as with all other things, yoga takes a great deal of effort, patience and time. Up to now, I still cannot do some of the positions due to its complexity (really, how do you bring your forehead to reach your toes without bending your knees???) and I remain undaunted. Perhaps sometime soon that will happen as yoga teaches you to do targeted efforts over a period of time and to celebrate small victories (no matter how mundane). Somehow, you can't help but relate yoga to how you live your life and to reassess the goals you want to achieve. I suppose the patience has rubbed off on me and I see myself letting go of certain issues that I really cannot do anything about.

Namaste :-)

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

Music Association

I think I wrote this in a previous entry, but here I am putting it in writing all over again:


The story, the idea is that...there's this guy. And...he's totally depressed! I mean, his great dream was to be a lover, an adventurer, you know, riding motorcycles through South America, and instead he's sitting at a marble table, eating lobster, and he's got a good joband a beautiful wife, right. You know, everything that he needs. But that doesn't matter, 'cause what he wantsis to fight for meaning. You know, happiness is in the doing, not in the...getting what you want. So, he's sitting there, and just at a second, his little five year old daughter hops up on the table. And he knows that she should get down 'cause she could get hurt, but she's dancing to this pop song, in a summer dress. And he looks down, and all of a sudden, he is sixteen. And... his high school sweetheart is dropping him off, at home. And they've just lost their virginity, and she loves him,
and the same song is playing on the car radio, and she climbs up and startsdancing on the roof of the car. And now, now he's worried about her! And she is beautiful, with a...a facial expressionjust like his daughters'. In fact, you know, maybe that's why he even likes her! You see, he knows he's not remembering this dance, he's there. He's there in both moments simultaneously. And just like for an instance, all his life is just folding into itself sunset and it's obvious to himthat time is a lie...that's it's all happening all the time and inside every moment is another moment, all...you know, happening simultaneously. And, anyway, that's kind of the idea... anyway. --- Jesse, Before Sunset



So anyway. It's a Sunday but I feel just how I felt way back 11 years ago. At home, listening to music. And before I the horridness that is Monday eats me up again, I know I would need to put this thought down and share it for everyone's amusement.


Ever experienced listening to music and feeling transported back in time? More like being time space warped, depending on the kind of music you subject yourself to. Music association --- that for some reason, a 3 or 4 minute song can actually take away 3 or 4 minute of your life and bring you back to I don't know --- some good memory I hope? Music is so powerful and more than ever at this point, especially if you have your handy iPod in tow and all you do is click a song and once again you are at your high school dance, worried sick of your curfew Daddy has imposed mercilessly and yet, just like a damsel waiting in distress, silently praying for the love of your life to come up to you and ask you for a dance. Or maybe you can click that particular song that can just remind you how you were back in the day --- when the daily routine only involves home-school-home and your Friday nights are filled with movies you'd like to catch up to while dinner is being served in bed. Music is so powerful enough that once you hear Sergio Mendez's Let's Give A Little More This Time you realize how much of a naive woman you are by giving the nth chance to someone who really doesn't deserve even a second one.


About 4 years ago, I made a playlist for someone and up to this day, the modern rendition of Basil Valdez's Kahit Ika'y Panaginip Lang still lingers in my head and I remember myself driving in South Super Highway on my way to Better Living with a Mango Bravo cake from Contis as a welcome present. I myself am very surprised as to the exact detail a song can cover (and how my memory can't seem to erase it). It's like I remember the song but I don't remember the boy anymore! Haha.


So I guess music will always be that particular part of our lives that will constantly remind us of our (mis)fortunes and (mis)adventures. Whatever it is, I'm glad to know that I am able to feel what Jesse has narrated --- to be in a moment while another moment is happening...to be in those two things simultaneously...life is good it enables us to catch all those fleeting moments. At least even through a song. :-)

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Monday, March 03, 2008

Of postcards and planners...

...and of earthly possessions. Two of the most precious things in my life and I know I'd die without them (or at least I'd die if National stops selling the planners):

These things are second nature to me, just like getting used to having a night cap or spending weekends with Gabe. Writing in my planner has become a habit and it's funny when I look back at all the things I have written along the way. Reading about this guy who goes by the codename (self-imposed) of "mirror" back in third year highschool now gives me the classic cringe that adults are known for when thrown back to memory lane. Why the hell did I call him "mirror" in the first place? Eeeew. Or what about the countless chocolate wrappers that are found inside my 1997/1998 planner --- a sweet attempt by an ex-boyfriend to end what was obviously a superficial fight. Or maybe handwritten notes by other special people who had the special privilege of peeking into my life and leaving their mark.
Somehow, as we go along the way, the issues get deeper and the fears become bigger. Career becomes a priority and relationships take more hard work to keep. Family ties become important and now we see the world in a bigger picture. These are just the snippets of my life that are captured --- for the last 13 years --- and reading them just never fails to amuse me.
And here they are in a more presentable form - like a family picture!

The blue one is by far the most tattered planner. This was year 2007 and you bet it was a crazy year.
Remember the classic question? If your house was caught on fire, what would be the things that you will do your darn best to save? Aside from my planners...this is what I would fight for:


I just love anything and everything that's handwritten. I don't know why...looking at it is just so addicting that it gives me a natural high. My routine: everytime I travel, I'd go buy postcards and on my last day (or at least hours before my flight back home) would send them to my friends from all over. Julia in Singapore, JJ and Logan in KL, Maya in Japan, Ted in Korea, Rafael in Mexico, Clive in London, Weng in Manila and Eduardo in Australia. Plus I send one to Gabe and myself :-) What's even great is that strangers send me postcards too!

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